Random
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Random
You have just posted a status on facebook. Within 20 seconds 1 person has responded, then 2.. and a third. Before you know it a few people have LIKED the status. Your status is on FIRE. It's getting slammed!! SLAMTUS!
Rick: Fuck me dude, I just posted a status about how my mother caught me jacking off and I got swamped by people giving me shit
Trevor: Yeah man as soon as I saw the status I clicked like & saw 30 other people had already clicked like within 2 minutes of you posting it! You experienced a slamtus buddy.
An unexpected excess of snot deposited on your finger. Not to be confused with the Surprise blow, which could be omitted from genitalia or assorted other orifices!
You're pretty sure your nose just has a tiny wee booger in there. You breach the outer rim slightly and strike gold straight away. It's not even crusty.. & you're not even feeling clogged up!
You extract your finger to find a nasal snot baby attached to your finger the size of a cherry!!
WOAH! Where did THAT come from?? That's the surprise pick!
When an un-trusting chick doubts that you have climaxed. So while astride your manhood she continually grinds your already swollen tender penis to be sure you have blown your load
Dave - Man, that Susie sure is one mean bitch. I totally lost a load inside her and she wouldn't stop riding me!!
Steve - Dave you wanker! You should never try to lay Susie, she's one of those excess riders!
All aboard the porcelain express!! You nestle down for what feels an epic. A high pitched fart whistles out of your puckered A-hole. There is an urgency like you never felt before.
With all your might you squeeze! Your muscles tighten just as your sphincter gives way! A mighty log of fecal matter and gas jettison out of your bungole on a one stop journey to hell! On its way down the log lays down a crooked rusty track that appears to be forged by satan himself.
The poo choo train express was quick, and brutal. It's all over in under 20 seconds. Looking down, the train wreck below leaves you sobbing in your crotch.
Kieran : Dude... go check the toilet. I think I may have caused some serious damage to my anus.
Derek : (runs to toilet - runs out) my god, are you ok? That's horrific.
Kieran : I don't know what happened. It was all over so fast. First a simple toot... then an explosion. I feel like I've been ass raped man!!
Derek : (comforts Kieran) hey big fella, it's gonna be ok. You just had your first poo choo train express. First time is never easy. It's gonna be a while before you're ok. We better go break the bad news to the toilet duck.
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