taconic parkway

The Eastern Bluebird is NY's state bird
"I Love New York" is NY's state song

The Taconic Parkway is NY's official state embarrassment

The TSP: Paved country road? Highway? UFO landing site? Nobody seems to know or can make up their mind. Apparently green-lighted back when NY's politicians could literally commission anything. Now people navigate this reportedly paved conundrum consumed with questions worthy of a B-grade Horror Movie.

Why did they put rain grates practically in the middle of the road? Why do speed bump-like protrusions inexplicably cross large stretches of the roadway? Why does America's most heavily-taxed state have a major roadway that makes post-2003 Iraqi infrastructure look good? WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO??? Did it fall into the road when a chunk of the last 4 pavings randomly gave way? Why does a trackless road need so much ****ing maintenance? Such is the riddle that is the Taconic State Parkway

Guy #1: Hey, let's take the Taconic
Guy #2: Shit sonne, the last time I took the taconic, my car fell into a 20ft pothole and they had to pull it out with a crane.

Guy #1: Can you do 150mph on 9?
Guy #2: TRUUUUU!

Translation The Taconic Parkway sucks goats on a hot day, but dammit it's the fastest way upstate.

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