knob monkey

A good mate who amuses you endlessly but you can't bring yourself to admit it openly is a knob monkey.

Dave, I can't believe you said that, you're a proper knob monkey!

inhale your words

To speak inward, not project your voice

Hannah Sterling-Welford I can't hear you you inhale your words.

knobcunt

Knobcunt, a person who is a bit of a div and disrespectful in general. Usually the person in the club that is a complete liability that everyone tries to avoid!

Don't invite him to the party, the guy is a proper knobcunt!