109th base

When you celebrate the 40th time your girlfriend has changed her hair color, this week. This celebration takes the form of first starting on her bed, until it becomes clear that she is incapable of satisfying you, so you switch to the bathroom, hoping a change of scenery will somehow help her along. After three hours of her trying, she will barely get you off, then you can make jokes about her technique for the next couple hours before you leave, laughing. You then must make jokes, for years, about that one day.

You: Wow, that was lame. You really pulled off 109th base, to the letter. What's with your hair? You change it every other hour.

Her: What do you expect? The hair dye sank into my brain, and now makes it impossible for me to do even the simplest of tasks.

7👍 16👎

107th base

When you are with your 300+lbs ex girlfriend, who was thin when you were together, in the back of your car, outside of the college you both attend, and she decides to show you some new tricks she learned from your brother. After she rocks your world, and the back of your car, you pull out, spray jiz all in her hair, then laugh wile driving away. About ten minutes later, you realize you forgot to kick her out of the car first, so you pull over, leave her on the side of the road, and throw bus fair out the window for her, wile yelling "that's for smiling".

Person 1, "Hey, dude, yesterday I got to 107th base."
Person 2, "Really, I don't believe you"
Fat ex Girlfriend, "Yeah, I still havn't gotten it all out of my hair"

6👍 3👎