Frotulation

Froh-tu-lay-shuhn
–noun
1. Mutual stimulation or massage of ego, frequently used by self-important upper management types, esp. in meetings.
Done correctly, if frenzied ego stroking is performed, frotulation may almost lead to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.
Frequently exacerbated by over stimulated creativity of the participants, esp. Advertising, Media, Hollywood movie industry meetings.

—Related forms
Frotulate - Verb
Frotulational - adjective
Frotulatory

"Steve, what happened in your first Sales Meeting, how did it go?"
"Very tiring, thanks so much for asking! There were three or four of the managers indulging in massive frotulation - a lot of love in the room."

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Decaflon

de⋅caff⋅lon
 
Having to complete an extra ten hour shift, at short notice, and without caffeine.

Bill: You look tired.

Ted: Had to keep going last night, even tho the boss forgot to buy the coffee.... It was a bit of a decaflon, I ended up stealing a couple of Red Bulls from the fridge.

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Book

A Book is like .. a non-volatile, stable database that does not lose data no matter how many times you drop it, spill your beer on it, or close it incorrectly. Books are more stable even than Optical Media. Storage is only limited by the amount of space and volume that the owner can physically carry. Some storage units seem to last for years, and whilst the background colour or 'fill' of the pages may degrade to a kind of #F5F5DC beige, the actual data is still readily retrievable.

Books were used for storage before computers. The only reason computers were invented was due to the poor fire retardant properties of the base materials used in the manufacture of books (especially those books used to upset the tribal elders of religious groups) and because books were easy to steal data from. Books have also been used to store ideas for Movies That No-one Has Made Yet.

Bill: 'What's that in your backpack next to your lappie?'
Ted: 'It's a book'
Bill: 'WoW, that's 2665 !'

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Misterogyny

hatred, dislike, or mistrust of men. Female equivalent of Misogyny.

Vicky doesn't like him, or his mates: Her misterogyny is affecting her relationships.

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Gribble Filter

(grĭb′əl fɪltə)

See Gribble flange

n.

A particulate filter is a device composed of fibrous materials which removes solid particulates such as dust, pollen, mould, and bacteria from the air. This type of filter is used in applications where air quality is important, notably in building ventilation systems and in engines.

A Gribble filter is such a device, but designed or positioned specifically by the manufacturer in a location that causes the maximum amount of dirt to accumulate in the filter, causing the Gribble flange effect to kick in: A correctly located filter may require renewal every 24 to 36 months. A Gribble Filter gets dirty in weeks, and is usually so well hidden or difficult to replace that the user continues to breathe in filthy unfiltered air so that they don't have to pay a technician to find and replace the costly Gribble element.

Formerly seen as a money grabbing device to benefit the manufacturer, now seen by Gen Y as no more than a friendly reminder that whatever the device is filtering, it's about time we had a new one. With a snazzy corporate logo on it. In a different colour.

Ted: 'What's that filthy thing in your hand ?'

Bill: 'The Gribble filter from my car. It failed early as anticipated, and the car is now in the shop for repairs. Hope they forget to reset the Gribble Flange timer chip.'

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FINSI

Acronym for 'Fuck It & Sleep In'

You know, the days when you wake up feeling overwhelmed: You have a headache. You've hardly slept because the neighbors were fighting/having sex/getting raided by the cops, you awoke early to the sound of barking dogs and vomiting drunks walking home from the club, You forgot to change your alarm clock for daylight savings and it went off an hour early, at breakfast time there's no toast because the bread is mouldy, no cereal because the milk has turned, no porridge because the rat in the cupboard ate it, and no chance of a McMuffin because you've lost your wallet. You hate your boss, the new departmental manager has been on your back for weeks, the customers are giving you the irrits, you suffer from anxiety from having to deal with the people in Human Resources, and it all just gets a little bit too much....

FINSI!

WTF !!

I CBA to go to work.

Bugger it all, I'm having a FINSI day !

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Gribble flange

(grĭb′əl flănj)

n.

A Gribble flange is actually the device that causes electronic and mechanical devices to fail just a few weeks after warranty expires. Accurately tunable to suit different warranty periods. Perfected by Apple to require only a new improved OS every six months or so.

Formerly seen as a money grabbing device to benefit the manufacturer, now seen by Gen Y as no more than a friendly reminder that whatever the device is, it's about time we had a new one. In a different colour.

Ted: 'Where's your new iThingy?'

Bill: 'The Gribble Flange kicked in early - it's in the shop for repairs. Hope they forget to reset the timer chip.'

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