Monster-in-law

A perjorative term for one's mother-in-law.

My monster-in-law is coming to stay the week.

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Productive fart

You know. Sort of like a productive cough, except the other end. 'Nuff said.

I had a bad productive fart this morning.

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Ass Dialing

"Ass Dialing" is something usually achieved by people with very large, very talented asses who wear cell phones on belt clips. When they sit on their phones, random button presses result in random calls all over the world. The recipient of these calls hears nothing but a stream of DTMF button tones and muffled conversation.

My brother ass dialed me last night at 2am. I think he was at a party.

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Ennuiui

The act of peeing your pants out of shear boredom.

I'm experiencing ennuiui today.

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Bahoozle

Someone who is a jerk, idiot, or fool.

That guy's a complete bahoozle.