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A caucasian who has adapted the cultural signifiers of an african american. The adaptation is usually superficial, shallow, and based on one of any number of racial stereotypes.
Bob: Have you ever met a caucegro in England?
Sally: Ya- over there they call them Chavs
A huge electronics store with two employees on the floor who are not cashiers. The two employees will keep at least a 50 foot buffer between themselves and any customer at all times. They will studiously avoid eye contact. If you find the item you are looking for, it will always cost 10X as much as it does on amazon- that is in no way an exaggeration. If you foolishly decide to push on with your purchase, you will first have to navigate a 300 yard long single path labyrinth of garbage impulse buy items. Be sure to take a water bottle and use the restroom before entering. These items can range from the worst (yet still overpriced) generic usb cord ever made, to expired corn nuts. When you do make it to the cashier, you will be pressured relentlessly to purchase an âextended warrantyâ on whatever you are buying- even if it is just the aforementioned corn nuts. The intense pressure to purchase said warranty will be interminable. It will be worse than the âcoffee is for closersâ scene in Glen Gary Glen Ross. If you survive this, you will be given a 6 foot long receipt in case you need to âreturnâ the item(s). Return is in quotes as it is purely hypothetical, No one in recorded history has ever succesfully returned an item to Best Buy.
Bob: Hey, where should we hang out tonight?
Sally: I was thinking either Best Buy or the sixth circle of Hell.
Bob: OK, Hell it is!
The fourth iteration of the Age of Wonders video game series. The best 4X game ever made. Builds upon and improves the already great Endless Legends game. First, each planet is procedurally generated with climates, biomes, resources, landmarks, exploration sites, anomalies, hazards, and marauder spawners. There are eight playable races all with very asymmetrical units, doctrines, technologies and unit mods. Each race uses two weapon types each with their own tech tree. There are seven secret technologies that can be combined with any race, each with its own doctrines, units, unit mods, and doomsday weapons. There are six npc factions the player can ally or war with, each with its own recruitable group of doctrines, techs, mods, and five unit types. All on a beautiful detailed world map that makes Endless Legend maps look like a pile of hot garbage. Thereâs an empire mode with tons of unlocks and challenges. All of the above with random world event and a world invading alien race that can appear randomly to change the game.
Bob:Wow, you look like you havenât slept in weeks!
Sally: Planetfall.
An elaborate sexual practice involving three women, two men, a pogo stick, several marijuana cigarettes, a bigfoot costume, and a Marionberry Pie from Shariâs.
Bob: I canât believe Ed died last week. He was only 23!
Sally: The last thing he told me was he was going to try an Oregon Top Hat.
Pronounced like the first part of âYogie Bearâ. Refers to the loose skin between oneâs thumb and pointer finger. When the thumb is extended it creates a very slight webbed effect.
Bob: Goddamn it! I just got a paper cut on my yog!!!!!!!
Sally: Put some lemon juice on it- it will feel better!
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A sign of genetic trust. Your body spends so much energy trying to keep unwanted microbes out, that for you to combine your oral environment with someone elseâs is like two countries just opening borders and letting the populations mingle. The problem is, humans are not very selective about who they kiss. Have some alcohol, then add another human with symmetrical features and signifiers of youth and willingness to mate, and kissing will occur. Now the problem is not what most germaphobes fear- systemic illness, nay my friend, the problem is bacteria associated with periodontal disease and caries. Lets say you have a healthy mouth- you brush and floss daily, you keep the sugary drinks down- then you go to a party, get drunk, and make out with Mike the Man whore, Bam! Unbeknownst to you, Mike has generalized chronic moderate periodontitis and rampant decay. Your mouth is then flooded with bacteria associated with these conditions. These bacteria are highly virulent and greatly increase your risk of coming down with the same oral diseases. Oh, and your mouth will not âgo back to normalâ after a few days, Oh no my friend, these bacteria have been INTRODUCED! They are reproducing like crazy- setting up nice cozy homes in biofilms and gingival sulcuses! Because of your impulse to pass your genes on with what your primitive âIDâ considers a good partner, you have allowed the equivalent of an ecological disaster to start in your mouth. Hope you know a good periodontist!
Bob: Last year my periodontal diagnosis was âhealthyâ. This year they told me I need monthly scaling and root planing.
Sally: Well, I did see you kiss that rando at the party.
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A religion that posits that an supernatural being created humanity. Said being then decided to kill every human on the planet except a few (Noah and his family)- even though this being KNEW when he made humanity that they would behave in a manner that would compel him to commit, not just genocide, but near extinction of the ENTIRE human race. Later, this god had a âsonâ. Rut roh- now weâre claiming that God had a âsonâ but we CANâT become like those nasty polytheists. Thus the concept of âthe Trinityâ arose. According to the Christians, god the Father, for some reason, needed Jesus to die because again, humanity is imperfect. Well, Jesus did, in fact die, but according to the Christians, that STILL wasnât good enough. After he died, people still HAVE to somehow be able to discern and follow the correct minutia of theology. Guess what, even though the son of god (supposedly) died for you sins, if you were born in a non-christian country or to a non-christian family, or if your Christianity is âoffâ in some nebulous way, god will condemn you to AN ETERNITY of spiritual and physical suffering. All this despite the fact that god supposedly made us to be this way and had the foresight to know this is exactly how we would turn out- nope, an eternity of suffering for you. Also, in America at least, Christianity involves loving guns and flags.
Hey Bob, I love Christianity so I donât like gay people. Never mind that I ignore literally every other rule in the old testament as well as the entire new testament.
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