slick as snot on a doorknob

Very slick indeed.
Phrase used to convey:
1)A sense of elegant suavity
2)A smooth, dashing je ne sais quoi
3)Class coming out ones' ass

Impressed Socialite #1:"I say, did you see how William butt-fucked that bunny-rabbit without soiling his cummerbund or spilling his green tea?
Impressed Socialite #2:"Yes, he's as slick as snot on a doorknob."

678👍 79👎

crusty pants

Jocular term for a derelict, wineo, street person, or others not known for impeccable hygiene--a bum. These people never remove their trousers, because they are so infested with vermin and microbes that they might wander off by themselves, leaving the bum naked. Few things are more frightning than encountering an empty pair of animated pantaloons in a dark alley. And no, I've not been drinking.

Upright Citizen#1:"Who's that crusty pants waving at us?"
Upright Citizen#2:"That's just Mayson, the town drunk."
Upright Citizen#1:"But this is Los Angles."
Upright Citizen#2:"He always was ambitious."

682👍 83👎

zip your soup-cooler

Imperative command meaning "Shut your mouth", "Let's hear no more from you", or simply "Shut the fuck up". Often said to Negroes, Hebrews, Frenchmen, and others known to make slurping noises whilst eating soup.

1)Deputy Bubba Beernut:"Zip your soup-cooler, Sambo, I'll take no sass from you!"
2)American to French waiter:"Zip your soup cooler, Pierre, I don't want snails. Bring me a hamburger, and be quick about it."

623👍 72👎

felony shoes

Common term for athletic shoes, so called because of their obvious popularity with busy criminals needing a low cost means of escape. Nothing destroys the credibility of a "Cop Show" on TV faster than having the fat, middle aged, dress-shoe wearing white hero run down a twenty year-old black dude in tennis shoes. Channel clicker, do your stuff....

Passing pedestrian:"My, that looks like O.J. creeping down that alley in black pants, jacket, watch-cap and felony shoes. Nah, couldn't be....

618👍 46👎

cockroach

A version of English spoken by inner-city Blacks consisting primarily of the noun "Mofo" and the verb "Mofo". Incomprehensible to pasty-faced white folks.

Urbanite#1:"Yo mofo, mofo mofo mofo mofo!"
Urbanite#2:"That's so, Mofo."
Confused Honkey:"What the fuck...oh, they're speaking cockroach."

767👍 243👎

galloping crud

A particularly nasty, crusty, fast advancing rash or skin eruption. For some reason it appears to strike only chrome-plated, 360 degree assholes, while leaving the virtuous unscathed. By so doing, it restores ones faith in the mysteries of life.

Alarmed Fellow:"Don't sit in that chair---Mayson just got up from there, and he has the galloping crud!"
Unconcerned Grand Guy:"Don't worry--Mayson's a dirt-bag, but I have my aura of righteousness to protect me."

584👍 28👎

chrome-plated, 360 degree asshole

An asshole no matter how you look at him. A complete, perfect asshole.

Warren:"So Mayson fucked it up again. Words cannot describe what a douche-bag he is...."
Jose:"Oh yes they can--he's a chrome-plated, 360 degree asshole!"

738👍 112👎