internet

The greatest waste of time ever devised by man.

I still need to get my homework done, file FAFSA form, and work on my novel, but I'll just reply to this post for a few more . . .

*checks clock*

DAMN! I've been on the internet for five hours already?

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plagiarism

To pay homage without acknowledging the source.

All writers are in some way or another plagiarists. Some are just better at it than others.

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Mr./Ms. Right

A supernatural being that has inherited the powers of Proteus and uses them to don the guise of whatever love interest currently holds our attention. Once the victim's attention has been goaded and he or she is compelled to follow, Mr./Ms. Right then vanishes, but always reappears again, forcing his or her weary victims into endless pursuit of desperate futility.

"I thought he was Mr. Right, but boy was I mistaken."

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black metal

An impressive but pretentious sub-genre of heavy metal, invariably revolving around hackneyed themes of satanism and/or Nordic mythology.

The lyrics are silly, the music is majestic!

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death

A state of being that is possible to bestow only insofar as it is not attained.

'I only remember two kisses - the first and the last. The first, with my love and the last, with death. The first brought happiness and the last relief!'
--Srijit Prabhakaran

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Metallivore

An underrated and largely unknown Speed/Thrash metal band that formed sometime in 1994, the founder, Dave Burton, claims he knew Metallica and Megadeth before they were in their respective bands, and so has drawn lots of inspiration from them.

Dave Burton is both singer and lead guitarist, and currently tours with Jay Houston (guitars), Ted Manley (bass), and Sean Cuniff IV (drums).

Some of their former members included Eric Avalon (a drummer who later left in 1996 and joined some viking metal band called 'Vikingness') Andy Rickman (their talented lead bassist who died during a tragic accident involving a tour bus in 1997) and Colin Elfman (a guitarist who used to be in Dr. Punch, and left in 2001).

Metallivore's three known albums include:

Puppers Sell Peace but the Master says No (1996)

Lightning is My Business . . . and the Ride is Good (1998)

The Countdown does Justice for all Extinction (2000)

They haven't officially disbanded, despite the now poisonous relationship betwixt Dave and Sean, but Metallivore hasn't enjoyed much success over the years and it doesn't look like their sales warrant enough to justify another tour. We can only hope that they'll show up to a few concerts in New England, though.

Metallivore will be playing soon with Immaculate Deception, Sauropod, and Asteroid. I can hardly wait!

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mindfuck

A gimmicky, pretentious, and largely manipulative story-telling device.

Jacob's Ladder is a real mindfuck.

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