ill peripheral

Is a condition that results from having been awake for several days in a row where any movement in your peripheral field of vision becomes very pronounced and annoying causing you to continually look to see what it is.

"Man I need to get some sleep, I got that ill peripheral."

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Microwave shuffle

A condition which occurs usually at work where everyone is trying to use one or two microwaves to heat up their lunch at the same time. Made worse when the microwave and fridge are crammed into some small room.

I try to eat my lunch early to avoid the microwave shuffle.

Immaculate Reception

Is when you poop and you go to wipe your butt but the toilet paper comes back clean on your first wipe.

It's a good thing I had an immaculate reception because there was only three squares left on the roll.

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Office Leapfrog

Usually occurs at work and is started when someone moves out of an office for whatever reason. Now someone wants to move into the recently vacated office because it is better than the one they are in. There is usually a window involved. Then someone else wants to move into the office vacated by the that person.

Dept head: Bob has retired and Tom will be taking his place. Can you move Tom's computer into Bob's old office and move Steve's computer into Tom's old office.

Tech guy: The office leapfrog never stops around this place.