Twatticus

A person, being or creature, known to act like an item of the female genitalia, living in a year prior to the 18th century.

"Oh, dear. It appears that Mary has burned many more Catholics. What shalt we do, Arthur?"
"I suggest we throw that Fucking twatticus into a lake, see how she likes it"

Chav

An increasingly large minority in the UK, Chavs are often found outside McDonald's by day, occasionally entering to buy 99p cheeseburgers to feed their colony. They are also sometimes found in parks and on benches, especially during mating season. Mating calls typically sound like:

"You got a problem wiv it bruv?"
"OOOOOOOOh! OOOOOOOOOH!"
"We all got swag innit?"

Once a chav has found a chavette mate, typically chosen by how orange her skin is, he will use his aggressive benefits abuse to buy a clapped out Vauxhall Corsa, fit it with mufflers and false alloys, and use it to ease the burden of migration to the corner store every morning, whereupon he will buy a six pack of beer and head on down to McDonald's to meet up with the rest of the pack.

But it is the evening where the chav becomes most notorious. They are known as nocturnal hunters, found on streets late at night and preying upon those who are alone and vulnerable. Once a target has been spotted, the pack will converge upon it, steal all of its valuables and leave Unlike a pack of wolves, however, chavs are well known cowards and rarely operate alone.

By the time the chav is in his mid twenties, he will probably have a small litter of chav children. They will live off benefits, growing in size and weight until it is time for school. The parent will neglect the journey to school and so the child's life becomes too certain. By the time said child is 11, It will be adopted into the chav lifestyle.

RUTTING CHAV: "fuck off you wanker is my turn" "No it bloody well isn't" (fight ensues) "ow fuck off mate thats my stomach you just shanked"
MATING CALLS: "OOOOOOH!" "arright love lets fuck this bench ey"
MUGGING: "lets shank and fuck this old bitch up ey" "Give us yer purse or wee fuck you up real good arright?"
FLEEING FROM THE LAW: "Ayyy its the bloody cops run" "eyyy shit theys onto us lads" "Ow duck he got me boys"
AT HOME: "yeah im going on COD Ghosts, bought with the Xbox One using the taxpayer's money"