Wankwonker

An average, or below average, looking man who thinks he's entitled to a pornstar girlfriend because he spends a lot of time on the internet wanking off to images of high-class Instawhores who regularly undertake 'shoots' in the pools of 5 star hotels sat on inflatable flamingos with their fake tits hanging out in order to impress wealthy men. He's easily flattered when 'models' on social media 'like' his boring pictures thinking they genuinely want to meet him when they are simply flattering him in order to sell their wares.

'Model': I enjoy very much today the shoot in Park Lane Grosvenor. I advertising famous Miska fasion house. So how did you find me?
Wankwonker: I just followed #blonde on Instagram. I'm really flattered that you 'liked' my picture of Blockchain distributed ledger technology. So what are you doing this evening? Fancy popping down to my local in Gravesend?

tigerbread

Striped with sunburn.

Shit. I forgot to apply sunscreen on my belly. I look like tigerbread.