Corpcuffs

Imaginary employment handcuffs. Like, when you're working at a corporate job whilst yearning to work in a different environment but can't, because the money and benefits are too good. They've got you by the corpcuffs.

"I hate this job but I can't walk away from these benefits. Damn these corpcuffs!"

Conversation Cuffs

The imaginary handcuffs slapped upon you when someone engages you in what should be a brief conversation, but turns into a long, drawn-out monologue. You are trapped in a conversation from which you cannot escape.

"Sorry I'm late for our meeting but I ran into Julie and she had me in conversation cuffs and I couldn't get away."

Vid-val

Short for "video valium". To be sedated by a movie or banal TV show that:

A: Puts you to sleep
B: Is distracting or calming enough to relieve anxiety

This is especially true for DVD commentaries.

"Not now honey, I'm watching Seventh Heaven. You know it's my vid-val."

"Sorry, I was sleeping so I couldn't get your call. I was watching the producer's commentary to The Secret. It was total vid-val. Put me right out!"

1👍 2👎