Link

The central character from the Legend Of Zelda game series, perhaps most notably the Nintendo 64 game, The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time.
Link is The Hero Of Time, chosen to battle evil. In Ocarina Of Time he used the Master Sword and the Triforce Of Courage to defeat Ganondorf, an evil dictator who had conquered the land of Hyrule when he stole the Trifore Of Power.

When it rains Link doesn't get wet, the rain gets Link.
Link's tears cure cancer, unfortunately he never cries.
Link donates a lot of blood to the red cross. Just not his own.
Link doesn't sleep - he waits.
Link makes onions cry.
Link is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Arrows dodge Link.
Link irons his tunic while he's still wearing it.
Link can can predict the songs on his ipod shuffle.
Link puts his tights on two legs at a time.
Link taught the Kool-Aid guy how to break though walls.
Link created the wheel. Twice.
Link once recieved a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. He made the handprint when the cement was dry.
Link is fluent in wingdings.

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