scared shitless

When you lack faith in the integrity of the door lock to the public restroom you're using, and are so paranoid someone is going to walk in on you that panic causes sphincter muscle contraction, preventing relief of your bowels.

This could actually cause your shit to take even an even more awkwardly long time to complete, when you were hoping you could pull it off like you just ran in there for a pee.

When you eventually do emerge from the restroom, the person on the other side of the door will totes know what you been up to.

Remember to wash your hands afterwards, regardless of your productivity level.

Your hope that screaming "It's occupied" loud enough for the person in the cafe hallway to hear you will spare them from walking in, creating an awkward prison-type situation between you and an eight year old child.

*Rattling of the door handle*
"IT'S OCCUPIED!!!"
*so scared you can't shit, aka being scared shitless*

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