Siun Heaton

A Siun Heaton is an inbred half English half Irish girl who attends Winstanley College. Siun Heaton is regularly seen shagging boys in the back seats of corsas and is often found with ket.

Holy Shit look at Siun Heaton shagging someone other than Nathan in Josh's Corsa!

Gritty

Officially, Gritty is the 7 foot furry orange mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers (see attached). Gritty’s big googly eyes are are well suited for his search for the perfect set of feet that will quench Gritty’s ever-increasing foot fetish.

Unofficially, Gritty, like Hannah Montana, leads a double life in Keswick, the location of Gritty’s very humble abode. Said humble abode coupled with Gritty’s AirPods make Gritty the ideal candidate for Yuppos to hang out with.

Famous quotes include but are not in anyway limited to the following:

“Niiiiiice”
“Classic”
“You’ll find me in the libs”
“North>South”

It is a contested topic of debate on whether Robert Spedding is Gritty, Grifter, gormless or a God????

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Katie Towler

A girl who resides in Hindley Green and feels like Justin Bieber is her one true love. Katie Towlers have lots of issues and fatuations with famous, and non-famous, people. Her winning trait is her on fleek eyebrows.

Person: Omg why is that Katie Towler so obsessed with Harry Styles?!

Friend to Katie Towler: Dude you're just jealous her eyebrows are on fleek and yours ain't! Don't hate her cuz you ain't her!

Yuppo

Yuppos are painfully middle class citizens. When not cutting about St Andrews or Lytham St Annes in their modified BMWs Yuppos can often be found brandishing a bottle of sparkling water in one hand and their hockey stick in the other, the latter of which girls named Cara go particularly crazy for.

Famous quotes include but are not limited to:

“Pool?”
“Morrison’s?”
“Lift?”
*monosyllabic caveman grunts*

Literally anyone: “how much money you got?”

Yuppo: “a lot.”

Yuppo

Famous quotes:

“Pool?”
“Morrison’s?”
“Lift?”

Literally anyone: “how much money you got?”
Yuppo: “a lot.”

Hannah Pilkington

Hannah Pilkingtons, like that of the Katie Towlers, also reside in Hindley Green. They are typically tall so will not date any guy below 6ft. Speaking on 6ft, Hannah Pilkingtons also require guys to have 6ft penises because Hannah Pilkingtons often work as lifeguards and may need said 6ft penis as a life raft to help out drowning children ( in the most non-pedophilic way possible).

Guy of suitable height: Yo, bro, who's that over there?

Friend of a Hannah Pilkington: That's H-dogz and you're in luck as you're over 6ft! But wait, what's your dick size and can you swim?