mushroom management

A management philosophy prescribing to the theory that to best motivate your employees, you must at all times:

1. Keep them in the dark.
2. Feed them full of shit.

This form of management applies to every situation where management is involved. Be it passing on critical information to employees, or informing people of policy change and company announcements. The entire purpose is to be as vague and unresponsive as possible. The ultimate culmination and success of this management style can be found when people draw comparisons to management and a black hole. Where resources and information go in and nothing comes out.

Example of Mushroom Management:

Employee1: So you talked to management on our companies re-bid for the contract?

Employee2: Yea, but didn't get much. Management said there's nothing to report.

Employee3: How can that be? Our fucking contract is up next month, how can they not know anything?

Employee1: Don't ask me dude. Man I feel like I'm constantly in the dark and fed full of shit. Kind of like a mushroom.

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hippy

Individual who believes that by consuming drugs and listening to music they're somehow changing the world and making a difference. Naive beyond all reason, devoid of logic, exercises echo chamber politics and usually a walking talking billboard of tired clichés. A fad that has been pumped so chalk full of marketing and doe eyed nostalgia it holds little more than a symbolic connection to the convictions the movement started out with. Should be put to rest like 70's disco or the dog your grandma just won't let die.

Your Humanities Professor.

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