petplegic

Being unable to get up from your chair because you’re trapped by a sleeping pet on some necessary part of your body (and duh, you can’t disturb the sleeping fur baby, no matter how desperately you need to pee (or whatever)).

“Honey, could you get me a beer? Bowie’s on my lap, and I’m petplegic.”

teen-ness

Acting like a typical teenager.

I'm sorry my son forgot to text you until late last night. We reminded him, but you know, typical teen-ness."