car wash

This is when you get a group of people and just go destroy a bar you don’t like. Maybe the bartender was rude. It doesn’t matter. You can walk on your check or upper deck the ladies room. The important part is to be as annoying as possible to piss off the place that wronged you and you do it as a team.

Yo graham! Let’s car wash Ivan’s bar tomorrow. His shit is becoming tiresome. I’ll tell you what. I’ll upper deck the women’s room and you ask for the check and we both walk out after he prints it. That bitch.

The Home Run Trot

This is when you successfully go from titty fuck, face, puss, to ass in order (rounding all four bases) then slowly trot through her house much like a baseball player rounds the bases after a home run. Most importantly, you have to high five and ass slap everyone you see along the way.

Hey Gary, after the game ended last night on a walk off homer I gave this ugly bitch at the bar The Home Run Trot. Her mom was a little surprised when I woke her up off the couch but I got the high five from her then she made me breakfast!

the red bulldozer

This is when a man requests for another man to shove a sugar free Red Bull can in his ass for fun. He generally complains that the mans cock was too small and needed something more. In most situations he chooses not to tell his wife he does this but there are some exceptions.

Hey matty, you’re a scrawny little bitch who can’t fuck me right. Shove this sugar free Red Bull can up my ass and give me the red bulldozer like a man.

Stack and Jack

This is when no less than 9 homeless guys pile into the back seat of your car (generally a Prius) then lay down on top of each other stacking one by one then jack each other off.

Hey Lou! That there fuck party we had behind the dumpster last week damn near broke my dick off! Maybe tonight when everyone gets here we can just jump in this Prius and do an old fashioned Stack and Jack...So we can have a night off and I can ice my dick...

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Greyhound Racer

This is simple. You chug a greyhound. It’s vodka and grapefruit juice. You have to use two straws and and Grey Goose vodka. It fucks you up.

Yo Sammy! This bartender made me do 4 Greyhound Racers last night! That shit hits you fast. I totally blacked out and fell asleep mid blowjob because of that asshole. It was awesome!

The Iraqi Stink Bomb

This is when you are nailing a girl from behind, preferably a stranger. Then, you make a noise and quietly apologize for farting during sex when really you have taken three to four stink bombs and crushed them on the floor. You then don a gas mask and continue fucking her from behind until you finish while she endures the smell.

Yo Jake! Remember that bitch at the bar who was taking a piss in the men’s room sink? She seemed like common street trash so I got smashed enough to bang her and threw in The Iraqi Stink Bomb so I could video it, steal her phone send to all her friends when she was cleaning off the stench in my bathroom.

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fat bitch period

This is when a dumb menstruating cunt won’t stop bitching about her period to her girlfriend...

HeyJolene! My pussy is a fucking waterfall this month and I haven’t been fucked since June! Even then, billy only did me in the ass in the electrical closet at the Olive Garden is when I was on break!

Shut up you fat busted cunt! If you think I need to hear about you fucking and sucking off guys, go back to fucking them. I don’t want to listen to stories about your fat bitch period. Hit the treadmill. Fuck