fat bitch period

This is when a dumb menstruating cunt won’t stop bitching about her period to her girlfriend...

HeyJolene! My pussy is a fucking waterfall this month and I haven’t been fucked since June! Even then, billy only did me in the ass in the electrical closet at the Olive Garden is when I was on break!

Shut up you fat busted cunt! If you think I need to hear about you fucking and sucking off guys, go back to fucking them. I don’t want to listen to stories about your fat bitch period. Hit the treadmill. Fuck

The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992

This was a terrifying, potentially catastrophic, event that happened in the summer of 1992. This is when two people break into a hotel room to fuck and destroy everything in the room as a drunk accident including pouring whiskey all over the guys dick and sucking him off. Raunchy shit. During the sex the headboard falls off and panic ensues. The girl almost suffocates and suffers a bloody nose. Both parties panic. Then the actual owners of the room key in and the other party flees while the new couple is forced to clean up blood whiskey and semen. It’s awful.

Bro, shit was a disaster last night. We broke into a hotel room last night and turned that place into a crime scene. It reminded me of The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992. No shit, the owners opened the door as we cleaned up the blood and we had to run out of there naked. It was ugly.

the comma man

This is your token friend. He is never wrong. He will never apologize, he will pick arguments with your and he’s a musclehead. The reason that he is the comma man is because he refers to himself as last name comma first name. F example, “nice to meet you I’m smith comma tim.” Total douchebag move...but he’s your friend so you deal with it.

Hey lunkhead. You are not as cool as you think. In fact, I’m your only friend. Stop doing the last name first. You just sound like an idiot. “The comma man?” Fuck

car wash

This is when you get a group of people and just go destroy a bar you don’t like. Maybe the bartender was rude. It doesn’t matter. You can walk on your check or upper deck the ladies room. The important part is to be as annoying as possible to piss off the place that wronged you and you do it as a team.

Yo graham! Let’s car wash Ivan’s bar tomorrow. His shit is becoming tiresome. I’ll tell you what. I’ll upper deck the women’s room and you ask for the check and we both walk out after he prints it. That bitch.

slug and tug

This is when a woman punches you in the face then jerks you off. A surprise move, but you’ll take it.

Hey dan! Rita gave me a slug and tug in the bathroom yesterday! She kicked open the door while I was laying one down. Then before you know it I have a black eye and I’m cleaning up shit and seamen. It was great!

2👍 1👎

The Fuck Bomb

This is when you knowingly walk in one two people fucking, then jump into the bed with them naked too and photo bomb the event!

Yo Diego! Remember that time I gave you the Fuck Bomb when you were nailing Emily from behind. Sorry I saw her naked but she was pretty hot. I’m glad I still have the pictures and your dick only touched me through the sheets when we took those photos!

medium adult

This term is obviously used after a 2-5 day bender when you know you are being irresponsible. It’s great with friends bc it’s funny but you know you’re in shit creek with your job.

Hey Jenny, you have to cover for me with the tiny tots on the monkey bars and the little ones on the roller coaster. I blew Steve til 8 am and feel like a medium adult today. Cover for me...please cover for me...