Greyhound Racer

This is simple. You chug a greyhound. It’s vodka and grapefruit juice. You have to use two straws and and Grey Goose vodka. It fucks you up.

Yo Sammy! This bartender made me do 4 Greyhound Racers last night! That shit hits you fast. I totally blacked out and fell asleep mid blowjob because of that asshole. It was awesome!

The Iraqi Stink Bomb

This is when you are nailing a girl from behind, preferably a stranger. Then, you make a noise and quietly apologize for farting during sex when really you have taken three to four stink bombs and crushed them on the floor. You then don a gas mask and continue fucking her from behind until you finish while she endures the smell.

Yo Jake! Remember that bitch at the bar who was taking a piss in the men’s room sink? She seemed like common street trash so I got smashed enough to bang her and threw in The Iraqi Stink Bomb so I could video it, steal her phone send to all her friends when she was cleaning off the stench in my bathroom.

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Stack and Jack

This is when no less than 9 homeless guys pile into the back seat of your car (generally a Prius) then lay down on top of each other stacking one by one then jack each other off.

Hey Lou! That there fuck party we had behind the dumpster last week damn near broke my dick off! Maybe tonight when everyone gets here we can just jump in this Prius and do an old fashioned Stack and Jack...So we can have a night off and I can ice my dick...

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Motherfucked The Boss

This is when you hate your life because you hate your job. Typically this is a result of hating your boss and you often find that you rant and rave about how he should be dead or in jail. So what do you do? You secretly invite his mother to the office on Mother’s Day and sneak into his office and have the dirtiest sex imaginable. Fingers in the ass...everything. But then the job isn’t done. Once you send her on her way you shit in his pencil drawer at his desk. Big steamer.

Time to wrap up. Quietly tiptoe out of there and punch that time clock. You’ve accomplished all you’re getting done today.

“Hi, Deanna?” It’s Jim from the front desk. Listen your son can’t talk right now, he’s in a meeting. But Happy Mothers Day! Why don’t you come to the office.”

...then you proceed to step on her face while you bend her over the desk...

“That was amazing, why don’t you go clean up. I’ll be right there.”

Steer clear of the office for a little while boys. I just did us all a solid and Motherfucked The Boss . You mind punching me out? I need a cigarette.

The French Dipper

This is when, while eating a roast beef sandwich, you dip your balls in the au jus sauce and slowly stick them in and out of the girls mouth while she licks off the sauce.

Hey Pete! I took a girl to Subway in a first date the other night. She followed me to the bathroom because she wanted The French Dipper. Then she finished me by sucking me off on the toilet! Second time this week!

The 55 Gallon Fish Tank

When you muff dive into a woman that is made of at least 55% body fat and come back out for air smelling like Nemo's abusive alcoholic uncle.

Hey Steve, you douchebag, after I took her out to a nice dinner at Popeye's we went back to her trailer where I gave her The 55 Gallon Fish Tank. Four showers later and I still can't wash her mush off my moustache. Overall, it was a great date with your sister. Asshole.

the double blackout

The double blackout is when you go day drinking, and blackout for the first time before noon. You won’t know what happened but when you wake up there could be a stranger in your bed and you could be naked. That’s when you start to piece your day together and wonder what happened with the stranger. However, it’s only 4pm and your friends want to meet up. That’s when you rally. The probably ends with shots of tequila and throwing up in an alley outside some kind of shit smelling Indian restaurant. But you don’t know bc you just did the double blackout. The next morning is a rough one.

Hey Carey! I don’t remember shit. I feel like a dirty whore bc I woke up after my first blackout and couldn’t remember if I fucked this guy named Steve. He seemed cool though so we rallied. We were up until 6 am when I blacked out again, but the last thing I remember is sucking his dick in the last bar we were in. It was another of the double blackout for me...