Wap

When one enjoys the combination of both a wank and a nap.

"I'm just off for an afternoon wap"
"I feel instantly reinvigorated after my power wap"
"Where has she been, she's glowing!" "Ah, she's probably been wapping. Yeah, she's a right wapper."

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cat botherer

Someone so obsessed with felines that they struggle to deal with normal life. They are often called something like Hannah or Joan.

Joan can't even make a cup of tea if there's a kitten around. She's such a cat botherer.