Jim Halpert

The GOD of all pranks against a certain beet farmer.
Called “Big Tuna” by Andy Bernard.
Also, he will steal your girl.

Then marry her.

Roy: “Halpert stole my bride!”
Michael:”That is so..... SO like Jim.”
Roy: “Jim Halpert.”

139👍 5👎

Dwight Schrute

Hard working, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.
Good advice: THE EYES ARE THE GROIN OF THE HEAD.

(A very good beet farmer. Has had experience with werewolves and bats.)

Guy A:”Who was the guy who beat the computer, again?”
Guy B: “Why, Dwight Schrute of course!”

16👍 1👎

Dwight Schrute

Hard working, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.
Also, the eyes are the groin of the head.

Guy A: “Who was the guy who beat the computer, again?”
Guy B: “Why, Dwight Schrute of course!”

A Nut Allergy

A curse. A stupid curse, that does not allow you to have peanut butter, or pistachio cupcakes, or anything along the lines of “Nut.”

Except for honey NUT Cheerios. And corn NUTS.

Dude 1: “Ayy do you want some rocky road ice cream?”
Dude 2: “Nah mate, I got A Nut allergy.”