Text Paralysis

The inability to carry out simple motor functions such as walking, talking, or driving, while sending, composing, or recieving a text message.

A driver stops at a stop light, pulls out her phone, and commenses sending a text message. When the light turns green, she is honked at, because she suffers from Text Paralysis, and is unable to obey the rules of the road while texting.

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Size It Up

To compare hand and finger sizes, leading to the comparing of other certain extremeties. This is a command given by one who is insecure about his manhood, and wants to reassure himself that he is as normal as anyone else.

Travis: "Size it up!"
Todd: "Stfu Travis."

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Accept it Brown

A phrase used amongsts junior high and high school students that means to have anal sex, or to allow one to put anything in one's fecal oraface.

Hayden: "Accept it Brown Biatch."
Ryan: "Oh my God, keep your wiener away from my butt!"

Textlexia

1: The accidental use of "text language" when writing manually, or composing a formal e-mail
2: the inability to spell words correctly when first learning to use T9 predictive text or other predictive texting modes.

Definition One:

Doctor to patient:
Dear patient,
Just a friendly remindr. Please be sure 2 take 50mg of the medication I prescribed to you w/ plenty of water.
Sincerely, Doc

Definition Two:

Sender: "Hi, how's evrythg going?"
Reciever: "What's 'evrythg' mean?"
Sender: "Sorry, I have a mild case of textlexia."

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Glove Hand

An ailment or disease that normally strikes metal workers, carpenters, or manual workers of some sort, that suddenly effects said worker's ability to pick small objects up off the ground, due to the required thick leather gloves said worker wears.

"Todd, I got a bad case of Glove Hand again. I dropped a fricking wrench and I can't pick it up!"

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