Stuttering Stench

Stuttering stench refers to the morning after a heavy night on the sauce.....
Stuttering is when you are hanging so bad that you can't even string a sentence together, just a stuttering of rambling bullshit.... Stench is from the rancid farts caused by the intake of copious amounts of alcohol... alcohol removes bacteria from the inside walls of certain organs and when gas passes through your colon (shit passage) it picks up the loose bacteria and forces it out causing the most horrendous stench.... Also known as beer farts.

Person 1: "you were absolutely smashed last night"

Person 2: "I.... I.... I c..can't really r....remember anything" ***FART***

Person1: "For fuck sake! That stinks you stuttering stench!

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Relief Shit

The act of opening ones bowels after holding it for a prolonged period of time. Relief shits are often explosive and those lucky enough to have reached a toilet in time describe the feeling as euphoric or like experiencing an orgasm.

There are 4 stages leading up to a relief shit.

Stage 1. A deep grumbling pain develops in the stomach far away from any known toilet, which intensifies very rapidly.

Stage 2. Panic ensues and victims break out in a sweat as the chocolate banana starts poking its way out.

Stage 3. Deep concentration sets in as the victim focuses on various arse clenching techniques to contain the beast.

Stage 4. Desperation. By now, the chocolate volcano is due to erupt any second and the victim is literally touching cloth. The end is neigh. A stage 4 victim cannot stand straight nor walk properly.

Many times, it will end with the victim franticly fumbling with a door key, trying to gain access to their property, losing vital seconds in the race for the loo.
There is a phenomena related to relief shits where the dark pony becomes more intent on escaping the closer you get to home.

Wife's and girlfriends are notorious relief shitters. They wait hours, sometimes days for their partners to leave the house before decimating the toilet bowl. They then clean up the monstrosity they have created just in time for the unsuspecting husbands return.

It is estimated that in the UK alone, 72% of men are married to, or living with serial relief shitters.

"God I wish he'd leave the house so I can finally have this relief shit'

"I went back home as I forgot my car key, You won't believe me but I caught the wife taking an almighty relief shit, had to get the plumber out"