chuck norris

Manliness in human form.

Chuck Norris lives on a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it.

Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

No matter what your mother said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.

There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris got cold and turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning.

Chuck Norris can watch 60-Minutes in 10 minutes.

Will Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow-Tuesday

Sticks and stones may break your bones but a Chuck Norris-glare can make you shit yourself.

Some scientists believe a meteor killed all the dinosaurs. That's true of you want to call Chuck Norris a meteor.

Chuck Norris loves America. He hates communists. Once he heard a guy was executed for treason, treason is the most un-American thing Chuck Norris has ever heard so he killed himself, went to Hell, ripped the guys face off and uses his face as a loin cloth to this day. He then resurrected himself and slept peacefully.

Chuck Norris is so American that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white, and blue balls.

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