Kenned

Usually a household item or especially something that can be GOT AT, that has been broken, smashed, destroyed, stuffed, completely wrecked, FUBAR, all at the same time - but even worse.

Ken:'My computer's broken again!'

Me: 'Got a virus? Hard drive failure? battery problem? Wifi down? keyboard not connected?'
Ken: 'S'worse. I've fecking KENNED it'

Me: 'New laptops are on sale at PC World this week...'

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Dermott's Law

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving OP's genitals approaches; That is, if an online discussion (regardless of topic or scope) goes on long enough, sooner or later Dermott will compare someone or something to some aspect of his own genital componentry.

Bill: 'You're eating that potato rather quickly'

Ted: 'Careful you don't choke on your spuds!'

Dermott: ' If I could choke on my own spuds I'd never leave the house!'

Leovinus: 'Ah, Dermott's Law in action!'

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