Code 8

Code 8 is the term given on a tannoy system to alert the store manager and assistant manager (if he's on duty) to the presence of a very hot woman in the store. Not to be confused with a Code 19 (otherwise known as Dragonwatch) which is an ugly woman. As you can imagine, Code 19's supersede Code 8's by a significant amount.

Debbie walked into the store. Her ass was magnificent and looked great in her denim cut-off shorts. her tits were heavenly and she moved like she'd just been on the receiving end of an almighty walloping. In fact, maybe the walloping to end all wallopings. She was sex on a stick and the employees knew it. Shireen the sweaty fat bird hated her. Harry quickly dialled up a Code 8 on the tannoy phone and in a matter of seconds Robert the store manager was pretending to adjust the shelves in the aisle Debbie was standing in. Ever the professional he asked if there was anything he could assist her with. Debbie said that she was fine but thanked him all the same. She made no mention of the soldier standing to attention in his pants.

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polliwogs

A polliwog is a tadpole.

"Hey, look at those polliwogs over there."
"Oi! I'm offended by the term you used there. Say 'tadpole' or I will shop you to the thought police.
"Sorry Mr. Lammy, our mistake."

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lickel shpickel

The name given to oral sex between 2 elderly Jewish spinsters.

"Edith, how would you like to chow down on my lickel shpickel?"
"No thanks Sarah as I've just taken my teeth out for the night."

little meathook

Little meathook is the term my mom used to give for my cat's bright red penis which he would lick when he got too excited. Every time he did it was a Hallmark moment.

"Oh look, Tigger's showing his little meathook. Awwww bless his little heart."

sand britches

A term for old-fashioned trousers that are worn at seaside resorts favoured by the more mature generation.

"Did you see that Wendy had moved down to Eastbourne to be near her ailing sister?"
"Yes, I heard about that. Mind you, she's not getting any younger herself. What's she going to do with herself when there?"
"There are a number of very nice beaches down there. I'm sure she'll put on her best sand britches and get into a bit of crabbing or something similar."
"Oh that sounds nice. I haven't experienced any crab action for donkey's years. She'll have fun down there."

blueberry buttcheeks

Blueberry buttcheeks are when your bottom is spanked so hard and for so long that they no longer resemble rosy cheeks but instead look more like a blueberry tart. The spankee is usually in floods of tears at this point.

Uncle Richard threw me over his knee and gave my ass a damn good thrashing because he felt I was being impertinent. The fact I'm 39 and a headmistress and his penis erect throughout notwithstanding, I felt it wrong that he should leave me with blueberry buttcheeks for a simple misunderstanding. I came home and applied some antiseptic cream and slowly my ass is feeling like its old self - heavily sagging and puckered from all the ass fucking my husband seems to enjoy.

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Merkel

A name for an ugly narcissistic German hunchback who screws over everyone and everything because it suits her oligarch masters.

Various shades of Merkel exist all over the world, such as the May Merkel in the UK as one example.

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