Big Pony

The slang term for going to No.2

"Mom, I need to go to big pony. I'm desperate."
"Can't you wait?"
"I can mom but I'll shit myself."
"For using such foul language you can shit your pants you disgusting little boy. In fact I'm going to hammer a giant cork up there. That will give you something to think about."
"Oh please mom, not the cork again. I was all blocked up for weeks."

2👍 1👎

Eamonnsfat

Eamonnsfat is the name of a very large pleasure cruiser usually docked on the South Bank of London. It is often seen floating near to Ruthsoffagain, a rather drab looking old steamer.

"Wow, look at Eamonnsfat. What a whopper of a boat."
"I know. If that boat was human it would be morbidly obese."

Code 8

Code 8 is the term given on a tannoy system to alert the store manager and assistant manager (if he's on duty) to the presence of a very hot woman in the store. Not to be confused with a Code 19 (otherwise known as Dragonwatch) which is an ugly woman. As you can imagine, Code 19's supersede Code 8's by a significant amount.

Debbie walked into the store. Her ass was magnificent and looked great in her denim cut-off shorts. her tits were heavenly and she moved like she'd just been on the receiving end of an almighty walloping. In fact, maybe the walloping to end all wallopings. She was sex on a stick and the employees knew it. Shireen the sweaty fat bird hated her. Harry quickly dialled up a Code 8 on the tannoy phone and in a matter of seconds Robert the store manager was pretending to adjust the shelves in the aisle Debbie was standing in. Ever the professional he asked if there was anything he could assist her with. Debbie said that she was fine but thanked him all the same. She made no mention of the soldier standing to attention in his pants.

9👍 4👎

sand britches

A term for old-fashioned trousers that are worn at seaside resorts favoured by the more mature generation.

"Did you see that Wendy had moved down to Eastbourne to be near her ailing sister?"
"Yes, I heard about that. Mind you, she's not getting any younger herself. What's she going to do with herself when there?"
"There are a number of very nice beaches down there. I'm sure she'll put on her best sand britches and get into a bit of crabbing or something similar."
"Oh that sounds nice. I haven't experienced any crab action for donkey's years. She'll have fun down there."

polliwogs

A polliwog is a tadpole.

"Hey, look at those polliwogs over there."
"Oi! I'm offended by the term you used there. Say 'tadpole' or I will shop you to the thought police.
"Sorry Mr. Lammy, our mistake."

11👍 8👎

lickel shpickel

The name given to oral sex between 2 elderly Jewish spinsters.

"Edith, how would you like to chow down on my lickel shpickel?"
"No thanks Sarah as I've just taken my teeth out for the night."

little meathook

Little meathook is the term my mom used to give for my cat's bright red penis which he would lick when he got too excited. Every time he did it was a Hallmark moment.

"Oh look, Tigger's showing his little meathook. Awwww bless his little heart."