Republican

One who advocates for violence yet does not participate.

As a Republican, I believe that we should invade all countries that are not like the United States and lay waste to all peoples who do not ascribe to our ideals, but I can't help cuz I got a bum elbow. And I get dizzy if I see blood. Go USA!

Democrat

One who is willing to sacrifice personal safety for their countrymen because everyone, not just some, deserve justice and equality.

Republican: Did you hear about the soldier that jumped on a grenade to save his fellow soldiers?
Democrat: Yes. He was a Democrat, and they were all Republicans.