coffeinated

describes someone who has a state of alertness that usually corresponds to consumption of coffee or other caffeinated beverages.

an over-coffeinated individual would be overly alert (almost paranoid), edgy, generally intolerant of others and reacts quickly without proper control, possibly due to too much caffeine intake.

an under-coffeinated individual would be slow to react and understand things, as if they were stoned or sleep deprived (or more likely in need of coffeination to perk them up).

a conversation between the under-coffeinated and the over-coffeinated:

R: Where's the Simpson file?
V: In the database, where'd you think?
R: Oh yeah, right. I'm looking at the database. I don't see it.
V: You can't be serious? It's under S for Simpson, where'd you think?
R: Where's S??
V: Look, moron, it's after R and before T. If you ask me again, I'm going to hit you upside the head with a mallet!!

B, a properly coffeinated boss of R & V, intervenes.
B: OK, nobody's hitting anyone with a mallet. V, here's the file you need (clicks on file on their computer), but go get some cafeinated coffee or tea before someone else is tempted to rip your head off. Get more sleep before coming to work or everyone will want to hit you with a mallet. Now R, you go to the gym and work off your edgy aggression before you rip into everyone in the office, OK?

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