i kjaerlighet

when translated from norwegian to english, it means "in love." it also makes a really cool tattoo on your foot! :-)

"Hey, what does that say on your foot?"

"It says i kjaerlighet which means 'in love' in norwegian!"

11👍 6👎

pastrami

As my brother once defined it when I asked him where pastrami meat came from... the meat comes from a bird, it's like a turkey, only bigger, and it's native to the outback of Australia!

Lindsey: "Hey Andy, where does pastrami meat come from?"
Andy: "You've never heard of a pastrami?"
Lindsey: "You mean it's an animal???"
Andy: "Yeah, it's kinda like a turkey, only bigger. They're native to the outback in Australia."
Lindsey: "Why do you have to lie? Wikipedia says it's cured beef... BROTHERS!"

18👍 29👎

tonsillectomy

probably the suckiest surgery to ever have as a 19 year old... the ice cream must only be worth it under the age of 7... it is the removal of your tonsils.

"Why can't you eat this steak?"

"I had a tonsillectomy, I have to be on a liquid diet... I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS!"

23👍 5👎

my uterus hurts

a not-so-sneaky way of saying that you are on your rag or riding the crimson tide. it is also a warning sign for men that they should either get away from the girl saying that her uterus hurts or kiss her ass and bring her comfort food. :-)

Guy: "Hey, what's wrong, are you sick or something?"

Girl: "I'm not sick, it's just that my uterus hurts!!!!!"

Guy: Thinking *maybe I should have walked away 5 minutes ago... fuck me... it's too late now.... oh well...*

Still Guy: "Hey, I have this Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I love Reese's... But I know you like them too... You need it more than I do, for both our sakes..." *Guy hands Girl the Reese's*

Girl: "Thanx." *Gobbles up the chocolate!* "But you still need to FUCK OFF!!!!"

29👍 23👎