Alcoholic's Logic

Type of logic an Alcoholic has, whether they are in recovery or not. This logic may not make sense to anyone who isn't an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: When you fix that kitchen cabinet to the wall to house the double oven, for extra peace of mind I'd like you to screw in two brackets, fixed to the wall behind the cabinet, under the shelf the oven will sit on.
Non alcoholic: Here we go, alcoholic's logic again!

power talking

Power walking, with more talking taking place than walking.

My wife and I were walking along when two people power talking came past.

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Calpol tunnel

The syndrome where reaching for the child paracetamol shoots a pain up your arm

Patient: When I reach for the children's paracetamol, I get a shooting pain up my arm. Any idea what it might be?

Doctor: Hmm, sounds like a bad case of Calpol Tunnel!

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chocpile

A stockpile of chocolate, usually stashed away in a cupboard for Christmas.

I opened the cupboard and the chocpile fell on me. Luckily I was able to reach my mobile phone and call for help.

wonties

Alternative spelling of oneties, the decade between 2010 and 2019. Before this decade you have the noughties, and afterwards the twenties, so the decade in-between had to be given a suitable name.

Man 1: In the wonties, we want world peace, a great global economy and better shows on the TV.

Man 2: You want a lot, don't you?

Morrisons dancing

This is Morris dancing performed in a particular British supermarket, namely Morrison's.

Did you see those people Morrisons dancing by the deli counter?

stickers

Amalgamation of the two words - sticky knickers. Used to describe underwear with skid marks, or after unsuccessfully trying to wait while desperate to go for a wee.

My wife was feeling discomfort in her stickers, as she'd been stuck on the bed with paralyzed legs for some time.

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