Shit-Hawk Snooker

In a long line of parked cars, you can always guarentee that the red ones will be absolutely covered with guano. The Shit-Hawk itself (slang for seagull = Cornwall, pigeon = London) then comes back and selects another colour to crap on before repeating the process with the red ones. Hence the term 'Shit-Hawk Snooker' is born

Dude1: Jeezus man have you seen the state of my CAR? Its been shit-hawk snookered !!! Get me my gun !!

Dude2: What did you expect, its red ya CHOWDERHEAD!

2👍 7👎

No Brainer

Not needing a brain to operate task in question

Hey, working a till in Macdonalds is a no brainer which is just as well as chavs need the work

116👍 46👎

karked

From the slang Kark (shortened form of carcass - a dead body)

To have died

I drove to the Heatherbell Crossroads and stalled. I tried to start it, it had karked it - totally

In a film of my life I would have got out and thrashed it soundly with a tree branch ala Basil Fawlty

But I didnt.....

28👍 5👎

magical trevor

Manic cartoon from the weebls website. Might even replace the Crazy Frog in my level of affection. Has incredibly clever tricks involving disappearing cows and pigeon sawing whilst mysteriously living 4th dimentionally in shopping aisles of Ragu or beans

Seriously wacked, you dont need to be stoned to enjoy this - well actually you do, even tho he is ten times more slick than the last time you saw him....

* sung in pythonesque tone*
You might think his new trick is sick
Sawing a pigeon in half with a stick

40👍 24👎

sooty and sweep

Two people in a relationship, ones totally silent, other one wont shut the fuck up.

From the 60's/70's British puppet show

Dude1: Spikes mouth is on the flap, whilst Trevs silent as per usual

Dude2: Bad case of 'Sooty and Sweep' there

7👍 4👎

oatmeal life

To be plain simple and boring as opposed to a 'creme brulee' life which is exciting with all guns blazing

Not to be confused with daily masturbation and pots of toss etc

Thank You

6👍 2👎

icq

Crappy Internet Relay Chat service where you are continually bombarded by cigarette sellers, adverts for increasing yr tit/penis size, turkish pervs with their trollies down and bizarre robot spam from the iron curtain

Where the friendless go to die...

28👍 21👎