Chesteritis

The most advanced form of hypochondria predominantly effecting male adults aged 50 or over. The condition may start from something totally innocuous such as a minor injury from a cat scratch. The patient me be discovered clutching their chest demanding to be taken to hospital. Chesteritis, despite its name, is not associated with conditions of the chest. It is a severe mental condition that causes the patient to believe that he is chronically ill and will discuss his imagined illness incessantly.

"Hey Andy you sound like you have a cold". "If only, I'm afraid it could be Chesteritis, better order an undertaker".