Jockney

An insecure smartarse. Comes across as incredibly intelligent and articulate - especially when behind a keyboard. Unfortuntely, in the real word a bit of stumbling, mumbling idiot who is a social spastic, particularly amongst members of the opposite sex.

I met this fella on line and we went for a drink. He didn't know any pubs. When we eventually found one he ordered a Horlicks. What a complete Jockney.

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piss gargling

What is says on the packet really. The art of gargling your own piss, or the piss of another, as you would mouth wash. Very popular with watersport enthusiasts and Jane Fonda (who claims it keeps her healthy). I would imagine it is bad for halitosis.

I wouldn't kiss her after I found out she was a piss gargler.

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cuntmould

The female version of knobcheese. A build up of bacteria around the vagina due to not washing.

I couldn't go down on her, she had a bad case of cuntmould.

Woody

To going missing for large periods of time without any prior notice.

Lord Lucan did a woody.

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bumsex

The english expression "bum" refers to the buttocks. Therefore, bumsex this side of the pond would refer to anal sex.

Hiya love, fancy bumsex?

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Rocky

there is an old naval saying about being put into the barrell. This involved a seaman being put into a barrell with a hole in it and then fucked around the deck by the other seaman. He was put in the barrell so that he could not been seen by the others and he could not see who is abusers were. The person put in the barrell was a called a "Rocky". This practice was especially prelevant on pirate ships.

You always know to call a gay pirate. A Rocky.

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Mankyism

A saying or phrase that is written with the intent of being serious but is in fact ridiculous.

An example of a Mankyism is "You can't have a bacon buttie, the king of foods, without bread." or "No. I can't believe people who wank in public toilets and things like that. Its like they are a wanking animal."

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