best of luck

When you don't respect someone's ability to take care of themselves or handle reality, you can surreptitiously use this phrase to not only cheer them up (as they're likely to be the dreary idealistic type of wet noodle who would believe in luck anyhow) but you can get your jollies as well by knowing you've branded them as luckless cattle, incapable of steering themselves out of the sad, stifling little corral in which they've imprisoned themselves in life.

Daphne: "Victor, Ramone told me such horrid things about you, and though he's a tawdry wastrel, and though he's been suckling your teat until recently you cast him into the wilds, well... he's a reliable informant, and he says you've such guile as to have seduced me into amiable terms with you!"

Victor: "Why that's a load of bullshit if I ever did hear. Let me tell you about Ramone, how he's a womanizing adolescent with no backbone and merely the soggiest mewling gnashing of gums to ever grace the earth. Let me tell you about how Ramone has dishonored myself and many past mutual friends, like the honorable Boris, how Ramone's often resorted to this sort of despicable whimpering to exact envious and petty vengeance. How Boris and I have suffered his slights out of sheer pity for the scamp, how very pathetic a creature he is."

Daphne: "Oh, Victor, I refuse to listen to your reasoning. I may have a brilliant intellect but, my heart is pure mush pie, and am but a leaf in the wind when confronted with mush pies. I'm afraid I can relate far more with a steaming lake of mush pie than I can with a man so clandestine, debonair, and unsurpassed as you. Clearly, in your villainy, you have approached me with falsehoods!"

Victor: "So, you choose to side with weakness and lies! You brazen strumpet! You sorry, pithy excuse for a courtesan! To the dungeons with you!"

Daphne: *sob sob sob*

Victor: "Oh bugger it all. You're not even worth the effort. Best of luck!"

67👍 132👎