Diversity Shrew

The woman who runs every large company's HR department. She won't rest until the workforce is entirely replaced by women/blacks/mexicans/eskimos.

If you're white, asian, or Indian, then tough luck dealing with the diversity shrew.

Anderson: I can't wait to get that promotion! I know I'm the most qualified!
Chan: Too late. I heard the Diversity Shrew already gave it to Tyrone.
Anderson: But Tyrone can barely read! Damn the shrew!

bum shower

A hand-held device used to clean ones anus with a jet of water after using the toilet.
Originating in India, this device is rapidly replacing the use of a mug for the same purpose.

Dave: Damn it, that burrito I ate gave me runny shits. I'll be leaving brows streaks in my underpants for a week now.
Kumar: Why not use a bum shower? It removes all fecal matter and leaves a minty-fresh aroma.
Dave: Great! I'll try it.
<Dave uses a bum shower>
Dave: Excellent! My ass is minty-fresh and my laundry bills will go down!

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