Satinism

A new religion that worships the divine fabric... Satin. Not Satan and all of that bullshit, but SATIN. The church of satin is decorated with satin draping all around the walls, the congregation and priest dresses in satin robes, and the priest just talks about satin, and probably uses a lot of fabric related puns.

It is formed mostly just to confuse radical conservative Christians who will inevitably mistake it for satanism. It'd be the next best parody religion to pastafarianism.

"The priest at the church of satinism gave a long sermon about how our creator satin fabricated us into existence..."