Shattler

A loud, powerful fart that rushes around the feces as it departs the asshole, so it creates an air pocket and the crap rattles around a little before exiting.

Billy: “I was trying not to get noticed while taking a dump at the party and had a shattler, it felt kind of good, does that make me gay?”

Dave: “No, I love when I get a shattler, too bad they are so rare. If loving shattlers are wrong, I don't want to be right.”

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Fredo Scenario

When something goes horribly wrong for an individual amongst his family or group of friends – typically following an act of betrayal or unforgiveable poor judgment – and that person becomes an outcast. Although unloved and unwanted, the person is still allowed to hang around because of his previous relationship to those wronged. Adapted from the Fredo character in the Godfather movies.

Unfortunately, history has proven there is no way to tactfully make the outcast depart. Fredo Corleone was shot in the back while fishing in The Godfather Part II, a particularly cruel yet fair conclusion to any Fredo Scenario.

Will: “I just heard that Sam told our wives we went to the strip club, even though he decided to wait in the car. It’s not going to be fun tonight when we get home.”

Jack: “That bastard…I’m finished with Sam. He has become a living example of The Fredo Scenario.”

Will: "I wish we had a fishing boat."

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Reverse bag with fig

When performing the tea bag, moving farther up the victim's face and dropping your testicles on the bridge of the nose and even across the eyes, thus rubbing your ripe asshole on the mouth on the victim. Typically an exclamation point to a well-executived tea bag when performed in front of an audience.

Get your camera, I'm about to give him the reverse bag with fig. There needs to be some documentation he had my fig on his lips.

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ChristmAss Crack

A long sliver of ass crack that hangs out of the back of your pants when you bend over after a few weeks of heavy eating during the holiday season.

My brother vomited on our cousin when mom accidentally showed her ChristmAss Crack to everyone while reaching for champagne at the New Year's Eve party.

MacTard

Someone who could be classified as retarded, yet still possesses enough knowledge to make others believe he is capable of difficult tasks, thus creating suffering from his ineptitude.

Typically encountered in the workplace, MacTards can be dangerous and unpredictable. Unlike someone who is merely retarded and familiar with their limitations, MacTards have great confidence in their ability.

Nick: “We both just got fired for letting Pete put the books away?"

Dave: "How?"

Nick: “Somehow while putting them on the shelves he ended up lighting our office on fire.”

Dave: “I told you not to leave those matches and oily rags down there around that MacTard.”

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Thong Bonus

When a waitress receives a greater tip because her thong is showing out the top of her pants.

In related circumstances, it can actually work in reverse and punish those who shouldn't be in a thong.

Al: “I just gave the waitress a $7 tip off a $10 bill, even though it took forever.”

Ricky: “Why?”

Al: “Because I could see she was wearing a pink G-string and I saw it heading down the crack of her tight ass when she bent over…had to give her the thong bonus.”

Ricky: “Totally.”

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alcoholic savant

A rare condition when a person suddenly gains brilliance or previously unknown areas of expertise with the introduction of massive amounts of alcohol to their bodies.

Billy: "Man, those guys were going to steal your car outside the bar, but you kicked all three of their asses! Do you know karate?"

John: "I don't know anything, but when I'm drinking I'm a black belt. I'm like an alcoholic savant with bourbon in me."

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