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Random
When a hella east bay dude in his late 20s / early 30s, recently single, samples among the local Oakland women - of various sizes, shapes, flavors, and ethnicities - in and around the Lake Merritt, Downtown, and Uptown Oakland area.
Rick: What's up, Ross?
Ross: Not much, Rick. Where's Jeff?
Rick: That jabroni? Jeez, I heard he cut loose his Rita Hayworth and has been indulging hisself in a MERRITT SAMPLER.
Ross: Isn't it spelled merit?
A delicious drink made by pouring a miniature of Hennessy in a round glass bottle of martinelli's apple juice.
Guy #1: Simon, i heard you sniffed beev in the Garden of Eden last night. how did that happen?
Simon: listen, STUZ, i drank four BLACK MAIDS and next thing i knew i was seeing river's steak sandwich. that was THAT.
Guy #1 (aka STUZ): you hear obama is president?
simon: what is obama?
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a highball cocktail. Hennessy mixed with ginger ale. Clearly, heavier on the hennessy than the ginger ale. Served on the rocks in a collins glass or a tall tumbler.
Bartender: DAMN, you look beat up.
Rick: Yeah, my wife... Gimme a Tiger Woods.
Bartender: That has Hennessy. That's top shelf. It will be expensive.
Rick: No big deal, broLALA - I got the KOBE special at ZALES. I got money left overzzzz
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When a man performs cunnilingus on a woman experiencing her menstrual flow.
Reggie: So, bobby walks into the her room and finds a certain very well-known rapper playing the RAGTIME standard at the old west saloon on his old lady...
ARVN: Reg, you're bullshiting me. holy niggertron. and what happened then?
Reggie: well, bobby whipped out his cock on lupe ta-do, made like the OK corral, won the gun slinging, and then made like wyatt earp and busted two shots on his ol' lady MAE WEST.
ARVN: no hawaii?
Reggie: no hawaii.
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