Antisturbate

Having such anticipation for an event, you get the urge to masturbate to it.

Walter: "Hey I just got the new Need for Speed game but I can't play it because I don't have my Xbox!!!"
Connor: Aw man that's torture, you're probably just going to antisturbate till you get to play it then."
Walter: "Yeah..."

Social Media Jerk Off

Refers to the outburst of social media updates when you meet someone new of the opposite sex who is absolutely awesome and completely changes your life. Instead of blowing a load of cum; it's a bunch of statuses and tweets.

Gina: "Holy crap, did you see all of Lincoln's statuses and tweets last night?" Rachel: "Yeah I heard they are all about Danielle" Connor: "She was so awesome he had to social media jerk off!"