Cooteroid

A large ingrown hair located on a woman's UPA or directly located on her private parts. Typically the result of shaving ones pubic hair or bikini line. White heads are sometimes present but not necessarily.

"I was afraid to go down on her because she either had the herp, or a mad case of cooteroids."

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Queard

A beard that a man wears that causes his appearance to change in a way in which onlookers will assume he is or is most likely a homosexual. Basically a queer beard.

Person 1: "Is Brad Pitt gay?"
Person 2: "No he's married!"
Person 1: "His beard makes him look gay."
Person 2: "That's impossible beards are badass!"
Person 1: "Look see!"
Person 2: "That's not a beard stupid, that's a queard!"