God

Modern Definition) The "all powerful" person in the sky you blame when something bad happens to you and thank when something good happens to you.

Extremist Definition) The person who created the world and controls the laws of physics. You will go to hell if you defy him so if he asks you to fly a plane into a building, do so or you will be punished in the afterlife.

Atheist Definition) The imaginary figure who was created by man to explain things man didn't understand and continuously revised to not look obsolete in the face of science. This figure is given credit for natural disasters, good rain, and the work of men.

Doctor: I have good news, after 36 hours of surgery with a team of 5 doctors, we were able to save your baby's life. Our doctors were called back from their vacation so you should...

Mother: Thank the Lord!

Doctor: Um, maybe you should thank the...

Mother: Oh God! I am so grateful for your mercy, I will pray to you everyday!

2👍 1👎