Jellyfished

Considering a jellyfish's mouth is an anus and a mouth, it is only ethical to say "I'm jellyfished" rather than "I'm shitfaced" when drunk.

Guy: Broooo I was jellyfished last night
Guy 2: I know bro it was hilarious 😂

spermenship

Having rights to something your parents bought because you're their child

Guy: This is your xbox, kick him off
Girl: Well it's not mine my dad bought it, but I have spermenship