Biological Meltdown

A biological meltdown occurs when a female normally between the ages of 28 and 34, who is without child, is placed into a chemically enhanced hormonal stupor that triggers a countdown in the synapses of the brain causing her to panic because she feels that her ovaries are drying up. Such a condition causes an unrestrainable urge in the female to engage in a loathsome marriage, already bound for divorce, with the first unsuspecting male companion lying prey to her mental instabilities. There is only one goal of such marriage, that is to lure the unsuspecting male victim into immediate and irrational procreation of a love child in order to satisfy the maternal needs of her biological clock.

As soon as the trainwreck hit 30, she had a complete and utter biological meltdown; she met Pablo online, married him on a casino cruise two weeks later, and now she is knocked up with triplets. The trainwreck couldn't be happier. Poor Pablo however; fled to Mexico after he realized he had become another unsuspecting victim to a biological meltdown.

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