Agnosticism

The only true sign of intelligence you will encounter from another human being.

A theist, or believer in God, will tell you that he ABSOLUTELY exists. An atheist (non-believer) will say he ABSOLUTELY doesn't.

Well, the last time I checked, it's been like 2000 years since God was reported to have talked to anybody, making it pretty difficult to prove. Besides which, all religion is predicated on faith (See also: Not supposed to be proven).

Prove he doesn't exist? Possibly the only thing harder to do. Besides the enormity of the task, there's the fact that anyone who ever took a logic class knows and that is that you can't prove a negative. You can only prove (sometimes) that something hasn't happened YET. It may still the next time.

So... you have a theist, an atheist and an agnostic... None of them really knows the truth about the nature of existence.

But only the agnostic is smart enough to admit it.

Agnosticism says: I don't know if there's a God or not... and neither do you.

Sleep tight.

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Vague

It's when something, or someone is sort of non-specific about whatever it is that they might (or might not) be talking about, dealing with, screwing or what have you. Unless it's not, which means that at some point it may or may not be. Time will tell.

Insert specific example of vague here. Show your work.

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Grunge Off

Commercially available chemical for cleaning residue from inside of bongs. Contains chemicals you probably shouldn't be inhaling. Use Palmolive mixed with baking soda instead.

Palmolive & baking soda works better than Grunge Off anyway.

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Irony

NOTHING in the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic".

A black fly in your Chardonnay? How is that, Alanis? And isn't it moronic... don't ya think?

It's ironic that the song "Ironic" contains no irony.

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trickle down

A fairy tale told by Republicans. Based on the idea that if rich people are given Uber-Welfare in the form of tax credits, that they may throw a few crumbs to the rest of us, which somehow benefits us (even though the crumbs we get don't equal the money we've handed over to the rich). see also: absolute bullshit

Made popular under the Reagan Administration, it was his Republican primary opponent George Bush (Version 1.0) who coined the term voodoo economics to describe the principle. This, of course, was before it dawned on Bush that he was a rich bastard himself and should probably just keep his mouth shut.

Called trickle down as an endearing visual of the upper 1% pissing all over the less fortunate.

The best part of Dubya was just a trickle down Barbara's thigh.

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good girl

A girl who'd rather do what you want than what her parents taught her.

syn. bad girl

Good girls are best when they're bad girls.

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jailhouse conversion

A sudden shift in belief systems (usually finding Jesus, but also Allah and probably every other Deity) after a period of incarceration. Usually a ploy for leniency with the legal system. Oddly, given the separation of church and state that we're supposed to have in this country, it does sometimes seem to have a positive effect when going to talk to the judge/parole board. Everyone from your local meth dealer to Manuel Noriega, Dictator of Panama have tried this one, making it one of the truly "oldest ones in the book".

typical jailhouse conversion:

Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.

Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....

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