Howdy Doody

1. A classic childrens television show from the 1950's featuring Buffalo Bob, a ventriloquist who had, among characters, a wooden puppet named Howdy Doody.

2. What you say to the steaming pile of turds in the toilet, when you turn back to look at them.

"It's Howdy Doody time, boys and girls!

Howdy!, doody!

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Schvatze

A term often used by Jews to describe a person with dark brown skin, huge lips and knappy hair; a Junglebunny.

Oy, Murray! Don't run over those schvatzes!

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fart

1. Noun: A flatus, expelled through the anus.
2: Verb: The act of expelling flatuses through the anus, usually fouling the surrounding air with a strong objectionable stench while producing a commical noise.
3: A contemptable or stupid person.

1. That fart that I just cut really smells good!
2. Open the window, I have to fart!
3. Mr. Crustybaum is such an old fart!

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Disturbed

1. Short for "mentally disturbed"- a psychotic, retarded or very stupid person- or a person who acts that way.

2. What you get when someone interrupts you during a session of masturbation.

1. People who listen to heavey-metal music are disturbed!

2. I walked in on Paul when he was choking his chicken and disturbed him.

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norge

A brand of commercial washing machine, known for their reliability and durability.

Lets go to the coin-op laundry and use the Norge!

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Wal-mart

1. Place where 90% of my wardrobe comes from.

2. Store where annoying music and LOUD commercials are blared over loudspeakers, in a curteous attempt to drive shoppers from the store in disgust, before they spend too much money.

3.Store that has merchandise of often decent quality at the lowest prices, now- but just until it has driven all competition out of business....then watch the prices rise!

4. Provider of jobs for people who are too stupid and too lazy to be engaged in meaningful employment. (I once encountered a clerk who was unable to deduct ten-percent from a price in her head!)

5. Store where you can buy cooking utensils- then become hungry and walk to McDonalds without going outside, then walk to the pharmacy, for medicine to relieve the diarrhea caused by the McDonalds.

I need to update my wardrobe- to Wal*Mart!

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Perfect Woman

Creature, much like Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, Sasquatch and the Good Nigger- often spoken of, but one has never actually been seen by a reputable witness.

I met the perfect woman last night, just before I sailed my yacht back to my mansion.....yeah...that's the ticket!

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