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Lag Machine

A contraption in open world MMO Survival games (Minecraft for example) that intentionally slows down server time catastrophically for everyone on the server no matter the distance if it’s being rendered.

Example of chat during lagging

HaXOr: omg lag
Super_Steve: 3rd time this our
HaXOr: of course I dropped my op sword
SkEpPy: lagggggg
Zelllk: @admin?
HaXOr: yeah someone’s using a lag machine
Zelllk: who usin lag machine I’ll knock their **** in the dirt

Chat was wild for 20 minutes.

by Malcontent lag February 26, 2022


R6E

A horror/survival/co-op multiplayer game in which a parasite we know next to nothing about that came from space (arcæans). This parasite later decided to summon its own horrors. It is the sequel to R6S

Rob: Wanna play R6E?

Luke: yeah

20 minutes later

Both: AAAAaaaa

Luke: I’m down, Rob extract me

Rob: 1hp

by Malcontent lag August 17, 2022


Landmine

Pet owner slang for Dog/cat dookie that isn’t where it belongs (carpet, tile, outside litter box, not outside)

(Parent) Son, clean up the landmines and do the litter box

(14yo) ugh

(Parent) don’t make me turn off that Wi-Fi

(14yo) ok I will

by Malcontent lag November 16, 2022


fur therapy

When you’ve had a bad day and your cat knows and follows you to bed/jumps on your lap/perches on your shoulder and purrs. This has been scientifically proven to help but is impossible to quantify.

“Ugh, just got back home from work and that yucky manager.”

*opens door*

Cat: *meow*

Who wants to go to bed? You going to bed?

Cat: (runs into the bedroom and leaps on the bed, and meows)

“Alright, there you go”

Cat: (proceeds to make biscuits)

“At least I got fur therapy”

by Malcontent lag August 17, 2022