captain crash

To 'go down with the ship' when crashing a bicycle, skateboard, tricycle, etc.

My little boy captain crashed his trike but did all he could to land the jump.

5👍 2👎

car warts

Nonfunctional, external car accessories that appear to be performance modifications but actually diminish aerodynamics and add dead weight to the vehicle.

<poser> I've got fake dual exhaust with chrome tips, a dummy hood scoop, an artificial slant antenna and nonfunctional side vents. Anything else I can do to impress the women?

<tuner> Yeah, get rid of all those car warts and get a personality!

3👍 2👎

segudo menudo

I think the same way as you, my affiliate of Hispanic origin.

Segudo menudo, mi amigo!

3👍 2👎

Fluffy

Adaptation for the acronym for Furry Little Friend. FLuFfy

<singer> You're my furry little friend, I call you Fluffy!
If you mat up all your fur, I'd call you Scruffy.

13👍 33👎

phobotard

Someone with a fear of being late.

He's such a phobotard he gets to work an hour early.

2👍 2👎

Neiman Markups

A department store where you can purchase the same items as in other stores for twice the price.

My mom bought me a pair of gay shorts for $80 at Neiman Markups. I saw the same shorts at Foley's for $40 and they were just as gay.

14👍 3👎

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

11👍 4👎