Quiet Hired

When an employer refuses to acknowledge an employee’s increase in worth with an increase in salary.

Employee: “Hello company, I’ve been in the same position for 10 years. I’ve been successful. I work nights and weekends. I take on additional work and responsibilities. I love what I do. I feel though that my relationship with this company is one sided. I feel that I have invested way more into this company than it has invested into me. I would like a pay raise and a promotion that aligns better with responsibilities I have accumulated over the years. "

Company: “…….. ”

Employee: “Oh no! I’ve been quiet hired!”

Perrier Poser

A person who fills an empty Perrier bottle up with tap water and drinks it arrogantly.

Baltasar – Dave must be doing well. He is drinking Perrier and looking rich and classy.

Magnus – I saw Dave fill that Perrier bottle up with tap water earlier today.

Baltasar – Dave is such a Perrier poser.

Shawshank

A bent penis that turns to the right

Whoa man do me a favor and turn a little to the left, your shawshank is killing me.